Today is Valentine’s Day, a special time to appreciate those who mean everything to us. It isn’t necessarily a partner–it may be a friend or a child. I think loving someone who loves you back is the best feeling there is.
Hugs and “I love you” were not a part of my growing up–my parents believed “actions speak louder than words.” Dad and Mom demonstrated that I was their world. As a girl, one of the things that disappointed me was displays in dime stores of red, plastic barrettes with popular first names such as Pat, Carol and Shirley printed on them in gold. My unusual moniker was never there. While I was in country grade school, one of my birthday presents was a brown, leather, zipper notebook with my name, Lolita Tschabold, engraved in gold on the lower right corner of the front panel. I proudly used it until I graduated instead of the cheap versions made of cardboard that the other students had.
After Kenny became my boyfriend, I learned some people easily expressed love in words as well as actions. The first time he told me, “I love you,” was right before he left for his four-year enlistment in the U.S. Navy. I was flummoxed. It took me a few seconds to respond, “I love you, too, and I’ll wait for you.”
I wasn’t the only one who grew up in a family that was reserved. My brother-in-law, Joe, told me he was surprised the first time he saw his wife’s mother sit on her husband’s lap. His parents never made affectionate gestures.
It’s still an effort for me to return hugs from family and friends and I don’t tell them, “I love you.” I hope when they eat a birthday cake I’ve baked, wear a garment that I’ve mended or see me applauding their accomplishments they realize it’s my way of saying, “I love you.”
Are you a demonstrative person when it comes to love?