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Monday, May 27, is our nation’s observance of Memorial Day, a holiday honoring the men and women who died while serving in the U.S. military. Activities will include flying Old Glory, parades and the American Legion organizations selling artificial, red poppies as a fund raiser. The flower has been a symbol of lives lost since the World War I poem by John McCrae, “In Flanders Field.”

The first commemoration was held three years after the ending of the Civil War (1861 – 1865). General John Logan designated May 30, 1868, as Decoration Day, because it wasn’t the anniversary of any battle. He asked people to strew flowers or otherwise decorate the graves in a nationwide remembrance of his comrades who died in defense of our country during the late rebellion and whose bodies lie in almost every city, village and hamlet churchyard in the land. The tradition continued until 1971 when an Act of Congress designated the last Monday in May as Memorial Day, an official federal holiday.

According to the United States Census Bureau, at least 1.2 million people have been killed in battle beginning with the Revolutionary War (1775 – 1783). A few casualties were female, mostly nurses, but the majority were male. Some enlisted in the armed services and others were drafted.

Most of the people were young–just beginning their adult lives. Some weren’t considered mature enough to vote in elections or drink alcohol but they were the right age to fight for our country. Our armed services have standards to meet–only the fit are welcomed.

Many people consider Memorial weekend the unofficial beginning of summer activities. Grills and patio furniture will be dusted off for picnics, bar-b-ques and parties. Businesses will conduct sales urging customers to buy big ticket items such as furniture.

I hope everyone will take time to look around and consider, “Was my freedom worth someone’s life?”

Vintage doesn’t just apply to wine–it can be an adjective or noun that means of high quality or typical of a past period. I recently read in the newspaper that vintage clothing has become a big thing in area thrift stores. I guess I’m still wearing mine.

I have a pair of jeans with a high waist and another with a low waist, both styles popular at different times. I don’t usually follow the latest trend but sometimes the only thing available in stores is what is the current fad. Thank heaven, I didn’t need any new pants while the holes in the knees of denims was popular. I felt I was too old to sport the mode and I would never have spent our hard-earned money for something so silly.

Sometimes, I remember when I purchased one of my outfits because I bought it for a special occasion. In 2003, I bought a black pant suit to wear for Ken’s fiftieth high school class reunion held aboard a pleasure boat at Oregon, Illinois. Two years later, the garment seemed like a good choice to wear for our family portrait taken when our church published an album of its members. We also bought an 8 x 10 copy to hang on our wall.

In 2019, when it was time for our sixtieth anniversary, we wanted another formal family picture taken. When we hung that photo on the wall above the other one, I noticed I was wearing the same black pant suit in both pictures taken fourteen years apart. The outfit still hangs in my closet waiting for another special occasion. I’m fortunate that it still fits.

When I buy something new, it is usually similar to what I already have.

Do you purchase clothes in the latest style or stick to classics?

I had just become a mother when Mom said, “I never had anyone to teach me to be a mother or a grandmother.”

I responded, “You’ve certainly done an excellent job.”

I knew Mom was only seven when her mother had died but I’d never really thought about what her life had been like. Her two much older sisters soon married leaving her father alone to raise Mom and her brother.

I’ve taken for granted the many things I learned from my mother and her oldest sister, Aunt Frannie, who was like a grandmother to me.

I didn’t know much about babies when Linda was born. I soon realized bearing a child didn’t automatically make me a mother. Mom lived close by and came every day to show me how to take care of our newborn. When Lisa came along a year later, I was a seasoned parent. Kurt joined our family two years after that. When I asked Mom to babysit while I went shopping, I said, “Can you handle all three of them? I could take one with me.”

Her response, “If you can, I can.” I hadn’t thought of it that way.

Our offspring spent a lot of time with their grandparents who considered babysitting a privilege instead of a job. Mom was my safety valve when I was out of patience with our little ones as well as giving Ken and me free time to spend as adults together. Our friends looked at my husband and me with envy because our kids usually stayed overnight at their grandparents’ house. Ken and I could sleep late in the morning after a night out.

If you’ve had a loving mother and grandmother, have you ever thought about how your life would have been without them?

Last Sunday night, I was alone–Ken was fishing at Kentucky Lake. The weather forecast for a thunder storm that night took my thoughts back to 1967.

October 23, 1966, Ken joined the Winnebago County Sheriff’s Department. During the following summer, he and several other new deputies were sent to the university in Carbondale for a six-weeks, basic police school. He drove home on the weekends. After an early lunch Sunday, he would leave our Durand house and again make the trip from one end of the state to the other. It seemed I could count on a rip-roaring storm later that evening.

I’d been afraid of thunder storms for as long as I could remember. I blamed it on the fact that three times I’d lived in a house that had been struck by lightning. It never caused a fire, just damage such as breaking windows. When I was a small child, the first distant roll of thunder or slash of lightning at night woke me and sent me crawling into bed with Mom and Dad. As I grew older, I’d open the door that separated our two bedrooms.

While I was in grade school, I’d checked the encyclopedia Britannica and found the odds that one will be struck by lightning in the U.S. during one’s lifetime are 1 in 15,300. But even those statistics didn’t ease my fear–I thought I might be the one that the lightning was looking for.

After I was married, I didn’t sleep alone–I could curl up next to my husband and feel safe. While he was gone, I didn’t want to pass on my fear to my children. Besides, there wasn’t room in our double bed for our three little ones. I toughed it out, faced my fear week after week and won. Now, I don’t always wake up when it storms.

Have you ever been forced to face one of your fears?

I’ve always felt like a capable female–an only child raised on a dairy farm where my mother worked outdoors alongside my father and I was dragged along. There always seemed to be some ‘child-sized’ jobs that I could handle as I was growing up. One of the first things I did in the barn in the afternoon before our 24 cows were let in from their exercise yard, Dad would dip ground feed from a five-gallon bucket and place a serving before each stanchion. I would follow with my little pail and add a measure of dry molasses on top of each mound.

Many years passed and the time came when my mother, a widow, needed my help as she aged. I remember her asking me to take over paying her bills. “I’m forgetting things,” she said. She had added my name to her checking account. We lived just a few blocks apart so it was easy for me to visit her home often and help where needed.

I’ve always expected to handle things myself. As an example, several years ago, I was pouring the gravy out of the big, stainless steel, frying pan–one of the last touches for our family Thanksgiving dinner. Our grandadult, Katelyn, walked by the stove and asked, “Can I help you, Grandma?”

I responded, “Thanks, but I’ve got it.”

Since I updated from a typewriter to a computer, it’s easy to ask our son, Kurt, for help because it’s new to me and he speaks the language.

But now, it’s become time to ask for help with some routine tasks. I am fortunate to be living with my husband, Ken, so the two of us can handle most daily chores together, but I have hired a cleaning service because I can no longer vacuum and mop.

We want to continue to host traditional holiday dinners but I need our daughter, Lisa, to help me in the kitchen. I can handle the things that can be done in advance, but not all of the last-minute duties.

Do you need help with anything?

ANNIVERSARY

Today is our 65th anniversary. Our courtship, which lasted for seven years, began at the Davis summer festival when this bored, 14-year-old said an enthusiastic, “Yes,” to 16-year-old Kenny’s question, “Would you care to ride the Ferris wheel?” I didn’t realize in 1952 that I was making a commitment for the rest of my life.

As we fell in love, Nat “King” Cole’s recording of “Too Young” was popular and it felt like he was singing just to us. I was sure we weren’t too young to be in love and it has lasted all these years.

Our wedding, April 17, 1959, went just as I planned. Dad walked me down the aisle for out candlelight ceremony at 7:00 p.m. The Trinity Lutheran Church was small and could seat only one hundred people. My cousin, Doris, was my maid of honor and Ken’s long-time friend, Wayne, was best man. The Ladies Aid took care of serving our small reception of sandwiches and cake that followed in the church basement. At 9:00 p.m., we joined a crowd of friends and relatives at the nearby New England Grange Hall for our wedding dance. a family tradition. Live music was provided by the Rock City Chevrolet dealer, John Pela, and the Bel Air Ranch Boys.

We’re proud of the family we created–our children, grandchildren and the people who have married into our clan. We appreciate that they all settled in this area so we can continue to be a part of their lives.

In some ways, it doesn’t seem that long ago that we repeated the traditional vows “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish until death us do part.” We were optimistic on our wedding day, but our life together has followed all of those words. We are fortunate to still be together and able to celebrate by going for supper at Merrill & Houston’s in Beloit.

What events have been pivotal in your life?

My mother was fascinated by the timing of events. Listening to her has made me conscious of things occurring at a certain time. Although they’re small, they may turn out to be life-changing.

I still have the portable typewriter that was my Christmas gift in 1952 when I was a high school sophomore learning to type. For the first time in their lives, my parents used monthly payments to pay the large bill, which totaled nearly one hundred dollars. Seventeen years later, I could become a freelance reporter writing the news from the Durand community for the Rockford Morning Star because I owned a typewriter. I never have figured out why my parents gave me that expensive gift.

When our children were in high school, a work/study program was initiated. Lisa spent part of her day detailing cars for the local Ford dealer, an unusual task for a girl. Kurt worked on boats at a newly opened marina across the road from nearby Lake Summerset. Both of them liked their jobs and learned a lot about running a small business. I enjoyed listening to them talk about their employment and it was obvious they felt they were an integral part of the operation. One would say, “We do things this way.” And the other replied, ” Well, we do it that way.” Their earnings enabled them to buy their first cars needed to drive to Rock Valley College and obtain their associate’s degrees.

I met Mary when she dated Ken’s Winnebago County Police detective partner, Gene, and the four of us went out to supper on a summer evening in 1980. When school began in the fall, she was the bus driver who brought several Winnebago High School students to Durand for a mathematics course not available in their home district. The small schools in Winnebago County had entered into a co-op arrangement. While she waited for the kids during the first period of the day, we met again at a nearby coffee shop each morning and became friends.

When I learned the World’s Fair was going to be held in Knoxville, Tennessee, during the summer of 1982, I wanted to attend because that was probably the closest it would ever be, but I didn’t see any opportunity. Soon, Mary told me she was going to drive a school bus to take the teenagers from her church to the fair and added there would be room for me to ride along. On the way, we slept in sleeping bags laid on floors in churches, but Mary and I were in a different room from the teens and their chaperones so we wouldn’t be disturbed. When we arrived in the city, we all showered at the “Y.” It wasn’t a deluxe vacation but I enjoyed the fair immensely.

Those are a few of my happenstances. As you think back, how many things happened at a certain time to affect your future?

If you haven’t filed your federal income tax form, the deadline is coming up, Monday, April 15. Most people could quickly tell you how much of a tax refund they will receive but not as fast answering how much they are paying the national government.

Those who work for someone else filled out a withholding statement when they began their job. The employer must withhold a certain amount of each paycheck dictated by the IRS to cover the amount of taxes they will owe at the end of the year. The reasoning is no one misses what they never see. The amount of your tax money coming back is the amount you were overcharged. It is just your money that has sat there not even earning interest.

Businesses that sell large items such as cars or furniture are sponsoring ads urging you to spend your refund with them. Last year, the IRS reported that more than 60 % of taxpayers received a refund.

In the Land of Lincoln, most of the things we buy are subject to sales tax, but we don’t pay attention to the small amount added to our bill, especially when we pay with a credit or debit card. The only tax we really notice is our real estate taxes. They are due in two lump sums in June and September.

Those of us who live in northern Illinois close to the Wisconsin Stateline often fill our vehicle with gas at an out-of-state station because their gas tax is lower therefore the total cost is cheaper than at home.

When we hear or read about a local government building project, we’re often told state or federal funds in the form of a grant will partially pay the bill. The only income any of our governments have is the amount of taxes collected from its constituents. State funds and federal funds are just collected from more taxpayers in the state or country.

Does anyone keep track of the total taxes they pay each year?

Have you adapted to Daylight Saving Time, which began Sunday. March 10? It takes most of us about a week to adjust to losing an hour.

During World War I and World War II, DST was formally adopted as part of a global attempt to conserve energy. Today, fewer than 40 per cent of the countries in the world continue to switch their clocks twice a year according to Statista, a German online platform that compiles statistics, reports and insights.

I remember the confusion caused by DST during the fifties when I was a teenager living on a farm in northern Illinois. The neighboring state of Wisconsin, known as America’s DairyLand, didn’t go along with the time change because it didn’t work well for the farmers milking cows. In the Land of Lincoln, each town decided whether or not to change their clocks. I attended school in Durand, where the village opted to stay on standard time because it was the center of a farming community. My boyfriend, Kenny, lived in the small town but, like many of the residents, worked in a Rockford factory. Those employees had to juggle the two times because the city set their clocks ahead in the spring to give their workers more daylight in the evening. Every time my family drove into a nearby town, we looked for a public clock to determine which time they were using.

The Uniform Time Act of 1966 established the system of DST throughout the US. Only the states of Arizona and Hawaii have opted out of the time change. Will the rest of us ever quit moving the hands on our clocks twice a year. Since 2015, more than two-hundred daylight saving bills and resolutions have been introduced in almost every state according to the National Conference of State Legislatures. Some would abandon Daylight Saving Time and others would make it permanent year-round.

According to some research, changing our clocks can be dangerous. A study in 2020 by the University of Colorado Boulder found that fatal car crashes increase 6 per cent in the week following the spring switch to DST.

Sleep expert. Adam Spira, PhD, MA, a professor in Mental Health at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, says scientific evidence points to acute increases in adverse health consequences including heart attack and stroke from changing the time. It is associated with heightened risk of mood disturbances and hospital admissions.

Spira says, “We function best when our sleep-wake cycle follows the sun. We get sleepy due in part to melatonin release when it gets dark. When we switch to Daylight Saving Time, we increase the amount of light we’re exposed to in the evening hours. The consequences of insufficient sleep include decrease in cardiovascular health, increases in diabetes and obesity, poorer mental health and lower cognitive performance.”

How do you feel about changing our clocks twice a year?

Four years ago, March, 20,2020, our son, Kurt, helped me post my first weekly blog–this is #254. I began with EXAMPLES about two of our elderly, female neighbors that I had admired when our young family moved into our Durand home in 1966. Mrs. Sweet continued to wear make-up although many in her age group didn’t bother. Mrs. Waller stood straight while most of her contemporaries were stooped. These essays allow me to follow my passions and use my gifts to urge people to think about their lives.

I’m aiming at older women, a fast-growing segment of the population, but I also have some men readers. I chose the name, lolita-s-bigtoe.com, because we’re all constantly being forced to ‘dip a toe’ testing the waters of change.

In 1969, after our three children were enrolled in school, I slipped into the world of writing through the backdoor of learn by doing. All I needed to become a parttime, freelance journalist reporting about our community to the Rockford Morning Star was a typewriter and a 35mm camera.

The area newspapers and national magazines that bought and printed my articles wouldn’t have hired me full time because I don’t have a bachelor’s degree. When I graduated from high school in the 1950s, most girls who continued their education became nurses or teachers but neither profession interested me. I didn’t even consider journalism because men reported the news.

To learn more about writing nonfiction, I’ve attended seminars and joined the Illinois Woman’s Press Association, an affiliate of the National Federation of Press Women. The organization sponsors annual contests for published works in many categories. First-place winners at the state level are sent to the national competition. Through the years, my stories have earned numerous awards from both groups.

How did you find your profession?